You're worth all of me

Afraid to love, something that could break,
Could I move on, if you were torn away?
I'm so close to what I can't control
I can't give you half my heart, and pray it makes you whole

You're gunna have all of me, you're gunna have all of me,
Cuz you're worth every fallen tear, you're worth facing every fear
You're gunna know all my love, even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts, giving you all of me is where I'll start.

I won't let sadness steal you from my arms
I won't let pain keep you from my heart
Trade the fear of all that I could lose, for every moment I share with you
You're gunna have all of me, you're gunna have all of me,
Cuz you're worth every fallen tear, you're worth facing any fear
You're gunna know all my love, even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts, giving you all of me is where I'll start.

Heaven broke into this moment, it's too wonderful to speak
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me

You're gunna have all of me, you're gunna have all of me,
Cuz you're worth every fallen tear, you're worth facing any fear
You're gunna know all my love, even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts, giving you all of me is where I'll start

You're gunna have all of me,
Cuz you're worth every fallen tear, you're worth facing any fear
You're gunna know all my love, even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts, giving you all of me is where I'll start
It's where I'll start

~Matthew Hammitt "All of Me"

What would it look like if every Christian offered all they had to the Lord? God declares that He is a jealous God (Exodus 20:5). He wants nothing less than all of you and all of me. He does not want to share you with the world. What would it look like if we started letting go of the brokenness of the past, the hurts, the scars, the walls, and started believing that the greatest Lover of all could work through us? We could start anew. C.S. Lewis says in the Four Loves: " To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

God is Love. To Love the unlovable and the lovable, is to be the hands and feet of Christ. May this be an encouragement to not only love God with all you have but to also love others through God's love with all you have.

If you see a Soldier today, say thank you

Uh, tears hit her cheeks, like Tyson's glove,
Pain hit his heart, as she fights for love,
She says don't go, but the call came,
It's time to deploy, and they called his name,
Close to zero five-hundred, her mind starts wanderin
Butterflies, tummy starts rumblin,
Queezy, uneasy, tryin to hold it all together,
She doesn't want their last moments here to be
unpleasent,

The car ride is quiet, outside it's hard to fight it,
Inside it's like she's dyin, that's when she started cryin,
He tries to comfort her, "Baby, it's alright" "Liar!"
That's what she screams louder from the thoughts of
fight,
They pray, it's okay, "I'll promise that I'll be safe" uhh,
That's what he tells her as he looks her in the face
and as he walks away,lookin in her eye
Last kiss as they say...

Chorus Benjah
"I pray this is not our last goodbye...... Goodbye" (x2)

Verse 2 Tedashii
Uh, graduation; her nine weeks are done
Hoorah, Hooplah, now it's time to move on
Leavin' out of basic, she just got her assignment
She's headed off to war and it's hard for her to face it
(or face her), the daughter that she's leavin
It's hard to come to terms with the truth, no one
believes it
And even when it's starrin in ya face, you don't
receive it,
She hears mommy, and it's just like her heart
stopped beatin
(beatin...beatin) inhales heavy breathin
Worried when she leaves she may not be back to
see them,
Her baby girl, and the family that she loves
Tryin to hold back the tears right now is
tough
She fights to stay strong, gotta hold on
She says a prayer, just tryin to find a calm
Thoughts of eternity, then back to reality
And then she tells her family...

chorus Benjah
I pray this is not our last goodbye...Goodbye(x2)

I don't want to be alone, I dont wann...I dont wanna
be alone..No (x8)
I can't live without you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYYQh2_QJt8

81 things I learned in a year @ IWU

A year at IWU:
(Fall 2010-Spring 2011)

The things I experienced, applied, learned, and enjoyed in a year at Indiana Wesleyan University.
1) You cannot love God without truly loving others. You cannot love others without truly loving God.
2) "Augustine" is not (A-u-g-u-s-teeeen). It is "A-g-u-s-tin"
3) We build up walls that are supposed to protect us from being hurt, but really they cover up our authenticity so people cannot see us for who we are.
4) God is ever faithful no matter the sickness one bears. He is always fully encompassing and wrapping his everlasting arms around his children.
5) God is faithful no matter what.
6) GOD IS FAITHFUL
7) Athanasius, an early church father, once said that God is Love- thus, he had to provide a way for salvation because he cannot go against his very nature
8) God is my first love- no one can ever supersede or break that
9) Community makes all the difference, for we were never meant to be "independent"
10) A community is a body of wisdom with self-giving love
11)Friends make a good day better. Friends make a bad day spectacular.
12) One who is task-oriented needs to find a balance in order to be equally relationship oriented
13) Leadership is: Taking action to effect change while mobilizing others to accomplish a shared vision.
14) Your Love never fails me.

15) He makes all things work for my good because he is molding me into the likeness of Christ Jesus (Romans 8:28-39)

16) God is good. All the time, even at 2am.

17) Love people for who they are, where they are. For it does no good to try and change them.

18) Solitude- a time of quiet reflection is healthy for the body, mind, and spirit. It also is how God can speak to us, if we let him.

19) The kingdom of God belongs to children of all different ages and races regardless of their behavior or anything that people find "annoying". They are the ones that have the joy and faith that disappears in so many adults.

20) 1^st Semester- God’s faithfulness; 2^nd Semester- God’s goodness; Hopefully, I will learn a fruit of the Spirit each semester.

21) Anything more than 16 ounces of coffee in one day will make you sick L

22) I am a coffee addict- I get migraines without a cup a day

23) I am passionate about leadership- specifically the structure within the Church and making sure that the top leaders are servant leaders equipping the Body in the greatest way they are capable

24) Academics are a priority, not a life mission. They come second to God and third to others.

25) “God won’t fix things through prayer what can be fixed with sleep.” Coach Drury

26) When was the last time you woke up in the morning and asked God for the impossible? For an adventure?  C.S. Lewis)

27) Great Commission- Matthew 28 go into all nations - Greek for ethos- over 2000 ethnicities- go into all races, cultures, of every ethnicity- through power of Holy Spirit in relation to Acts 1:8

28) If I am 100% comforting and 99% managing, the question is not how can I choose one over the other, but rather how can I incorporate both so I am managing and comforting to others for the glory of God?

29) Economics is 2 gazillion times harder than asking for forgiveness

30) One can get caught up in “doing things for Jesus” rather than “falling in love with Jesus.” Ephesians 3:16-19

31) Ephesians 4:11-13- Goal of Pastoral Ministry

32) 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

33) There will always be people that are in a worse condition than you are. No need to complain.

34) Not only has God been sparing me of the heartaches in trivial relationships, but he has been shaping and molding me into the wife I am meant to be as I trust him that I will meet the right one. First and foremost, he has been molding me into his daughter who wants to be captivated in the love of Christ where no relationship can break or hinder the relationship I have with God.

35) Making time for God first and foremost is the best way one can start their day

36) Psalm 27:13-14; waiting on the Lord for the desires of our heart should cause us to be expectant and be strong in Christ’s strength

37) In our weaknesses we are strong because God’s grace is sufficient, for then God is the most glorified.

38) Sometimes our “daily bread” comes in the form of rocks. But your Father will transform the rocks of life to bread for they may just be blessings in disguise.

39) I love to beatbox in my free time

40) I want to start a ministry at a church for soldiers who are home from the war because I have a passion for the military

41) Rap is relaxing. I listen to it when I am stressed or frustrated. If I am running and listening to rap- you know it’s really bad!

42) I love the band Jesus Culture

43) I made lots of new friends and lost and kept some old!

44) I grew in my love for God with my heart, mind, soul, and strength

45) Learned that God’s love truly never fails

46) Naps are good

47) Running clears the mind and prepares it for exams

48) Stressing out does not change your circumstances, joy does.

49) 1^st night of finals every semester, ever student on campus opens their window for the Midnight Scream!

50) I was known for the one in the room with the “bass cranked up” or walls vibrating

51) Late night chats are some of the best

52) Intercessory prayer is an ability to be in tune with the Holy Spirit

53) Being on your knees is the most beautiful thing before the Lord

54) Reading the Bible in 7 months is more difficult than you think

55) Taking a Sabbath is remarkable creating immediate and long term effects ((when one finds time)

56) Learned that in Evangelism class- authentic relationships are desired more so than anything in this generation.

57) I can now exegete since I wrote an exegesis.

58) Sometimes you just have to move on….let God take care of the rest for both you and the other person.

59) Friends are those that care for you when you are sick, love you despite your weaknesses, take you to the hospital, clean your room for you even though you’ve been sick and germy for days, buy you treats when you’ve had a bad day, make you laugh when you are frustrated, pack your bag in the middle of the night to send you home, have long chats over coffee, prank people in their dorms for no reason, hold you when you cry, dance with you when you are learning how to swing dance, make dance videos with you at 1am, and most importantly pray for you.

60) I learned to get out of my comfort zone meeting new people by being more open to people and more open to God about myself.

61) Learned that the best Leader doesn’t take a seat at the head of the table, but rather chooses another to be the most important guest

62) Learned to be happy and content with what I had

63) Learned to be thankful for the little things, like being able to afford gas

64) Learned to rely on God for EVERYTHING. Rarely is anything in our complete control.

65) Writing papers with the Holy Spirit is the best way to go. He leads, I type.

66) Doing homework with Jesus makes time fly

67) I have a great mentor who is “gangster” like me

68) When God says, “Your bodies are a living sacrifice.” He means for you to take care of it. So, if that means rest, rest. If that means take a break, then take a break! Watch a movie. Have fun. Enjoy life. Seek first His kingdom and all these things will be added unto you.

69) College is the most selfish period of your life, go serve somebody.

70) For the first time in my life, I have understand the despair that Job experienced when life seems to collapse around you.

71) I’ve learned to grow Rhino Sin (thick skin)

72) I’ve learned to not take things personally

73) I’ve learned I can’t fix everything, and I certainly can’t “change” other people no matter how hard I try.

74) I’ve learned I’m a leader. I am passionate about relationships, and I think I am gifted in relational leadership.

75) I’ve learned people won’t always treat you the way you deserve. Love them and pray for them, hoping they will come to a realization on their own.

76) Do your best and let God do the rest.

77) Reflection is key to being stress free. A time of processing is so good for the body and mind.

78) Fully depend on God and when you feel you can go no longer, lean on Him- He’ll hold you up.

79) There’s a difference between humility- knowing you can do nothing without Christ, and being humble- being open to what God is doing, even if it is unseen

80) Become a vessel for God to do his best in your weakest moments.

81) I LOVE IWU and the JWHC

Incredible wisdom- taken from Kelly Needham's blog

I found this blog today that my friend had sent me. It is Jimmy Needham's wife.
(www.kellyneedham.wordpress.com)

Our poor little girl had her first cold and boy was it rough! For about 5 nights in a row, I was up almost every hour trying to get her back to sleep because she couldn’t breathe. The frustration followed into the next day because our sick baby was now a tired, sick baby. Then top that off with constant pain from teething and the fact that we are not at home with all her regular toys and Baby Einstein DVDs…. And wow. I felt like I was just trying to make it through one hour at a time.

It’s amazing what a lack of sleep over multiple days does to you. I had checked-out emotionally and spiritually. Discouragement began to set in as I wondered if this was ever going to end. As I drove around Nashville waiting to pick Jimmy up from a writing appointment, I noticed this license plate in front of me. It read: 2COR610. An acute awareness of God’s sovereignty causes me to take these “coincidences” very personally as if God were sending me a message to read 2 Corinthians 6:10. Though it didn’t mean much to me as I quickly glanced at it in my car, I decided it was worth a more in depth look later.

Thankfully, Lively soon fell asleep in the car seat as I drove giving me a precious hour and a half of time to myself. I found a coffee shop and claimed the small nook in the back as my own to sit with this chapter of the Bible and a much needed cup of caffeine… I mean coffee. I began reading from earlier in the chapter: “But in everything commending ourselves as servants of God, in much endurance, in afflictions, in hardships, in distresses, in beatings, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labors, in sleeplessness, in hunger…” Wait a second!! “in sleeplessness” Those words were balm to my soul. The moment I read them my eyes filled with tears as God’s Word ministered to my soul. In just a split second God spoke so many things to my heart.

First, just seeing the word sleeplessness let me know that God was aware of my situation. Sometimes just to know that He sees me and knows what I am going through brings such comfort. Then, sleeplessness is listed next to imprisonments, beatings, and hunger to name a few! In this I felt like my struggle became legitimate, that it is truly difficult to function without sleep. In the same way our bodies need food to function, they also need sleep to function. Finally, the main point of this whole passage is that even in sleeplessness I am to commend myself as a servant of God. What renewed purpose this gave me to know that I am to serve God in my sleeplessness. Not just get through it, but serve God through it.

I glanced down at the little feet sticking out of the car seat next to me. This little girl was not the burden or inconvenience that she seemed to be this past week, but a blessing that I had the honor of caring for as my service to God. I am to be HIS SERVANT even in sleeplessness.

Oh the Bible! How I love it! It’s pages always bringing such refreshment and renewal to my soul. It is like a never-ending fountain, allowing me to discover new mysteries each time I open it. Wherever you are at today, find time to sit with God in His Word. You might not be a new mom dealing with sleepless nights, but there is fresh wisdom, comfort, and encouragement for every situation in the pages of this precious book.

“How sweet are Your words to my taste!
Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth!”
Psalm 119:103


Wow! There are plent of times I wrestle with sleeplessness during the school year. Yet, we are to still to be His servant amidst it all.

Ralph Emerson Challenge

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could.”

What is one thing you can do that would make today worthwhile? What’s stopping you from getting started right now?

- A personal assesment in order to discover and re-focus: what am I doing? where am I going? and who am I becoming?

I think these questions should always be consciously checked to make sure we are on the right track. Erwin McManus says "You need convergence. You need to bring together all of your talents, gifts, passions, intellect, energy, time, and resources and harness them in such a way that you focus on the mission God has given you for your life. Self-awareness is one of the most critical characteristics of personal effectiveness and productivity." ~ Wide Awake, 141

Restless Until You Remember

"I'm restless until I rest in You." Audrey Assad

I've been thinking a lot recently about what a wise old man at the nursing home said to me this week: "God never leaves or forsakes us, but how easily we forget it."

It is so true. I don't know about you, but I forget so easily some of the things the Lord speaks to me about. I forget some of His promises on my bad days. I forget that I am the daughter of the most high God. But, I wonder why? Why do we forget? Why is it that the first thing we think of in the morning is often a t-do list or a planned agenda of our day rather thing waking up to "His mercies that are new each morning" or "Do not be discouraged or afraid today". Or maybe you aren't task oriented like I am, maybe you are relationally oriented, and the first thing you think of in the morning is all of the people you need to get in touch with. My devotional this morning said "My children teethe on the truth that I am always with them, yet they stumble around in a stupor unaware of My loving presence all around them. How that grieves Me."
Do you wake up or go to bed in a stupor (apathy caused by stress or shock)? Do you feel dull at times?
Do you think it has something to do with knowing God's promises in your mind and knowing God's promises in your heart? The Word says to "Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of  life." (Prov. 4:23) How is your heart today?

Maybe the reason we so easily forget is that the promises, declarations, teachings, etc have not reached our heart. We haven't given them a chance to marinate, to stir, or to develop our hearts.

"But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does he prospers." Psalm 1:2-2

Trees planted by water are rich and fruitful.
Hearts that meditate on God's word are more than knowledgable, they are deeply rooted in the promises of God.
Knowledge can come and go. The byproduct that is produced in our hearts is there to stay.
Same goes with knowing and doing. I can know all I want about a specific topic, but unless I am acting based on my knowledge, that knowledge runs the risk of disappearing. I can know all I want about what it means to be compassionate, but unless it is acted out compassion won't mean a thing to me.
"He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:8

Are you forgetting some of the most important things in life that are from the Word of God? Have you forgotten what your First Love once spoke to you about?

John Eldredge seems to experience the same thing:
Forgetting is no small problem. Of all the enemies our hearts must face, this may be the worst because it is insidious. Forgetfulness does not come against us like an enemy in full battle formation, banners waving. Nor does it come temptingly, seductively, the lady in red. It works slowly, commonly, unnoticed. Such is the work of forgetfulness. It cuts us off from our life so slowly, we barely notice, until one day the blooms of our faith are suddenly gone.


I encourage you to forget not the promises of the Lord today and all He has done for us. May you bear fruit, grow in thankfullness, and may your heart dwell in the goodness of God as you remember and not forget.

Getting Beyond Your Daily Life and Into God’s Plan

Getting Beyond Your Daily Life and Into God’s Plan

Galaxies- Owl City

What an awesome song! Listen to the song and read the lyrics. I love how OC has a way of taking the ordinary things around them and putting them into songs that awaken their hearts!


Call back the cap-com,

Tick off the time-bomb,

Let felicity fly!

Armour the airlock,

Blanket the bedrock,

And kiss the planet goodbye!



Dear god I was terribly lost

When the galaxies crossed

And the sun went dark!

But dear God you're the only North star I would follow this far..



Fight back the flight deck

Bring on the breakneck

cue the solar eclipse

summit the sunset

Dubtail the dragnet

and blow your backbone to bits



Dear God I was terribly lost

when the galaxies crossed

and the sun went dark.

But dear god you're the only North star I would follow this far.



Oh telescope, keep an eye on my only hope

Lest I blink and be swept off the narrow road

Hercules you've got nothing to say to me cause you're not the guiding light that I need.



For He is the saving grace of the galaxies ! ( x2 )



Dear God I was terribly lost when the galaxies crossed and the sun went dark

But dear God you're the only North star I would follow this far

The Wedding Prayer

The Wedding Prayer

Create in us a love, O Lord.

An eternal love …

Your love.

A love that forgives

any failure,

spans

any distance,

withstands

any tempest.

Create in us a love, O Lord.

A new love.

A fresh love.

A love with the tenderness

of a lamb,

the grandeur

of a mountain,

the strength

of a lion.

And make us one. Intimately one.

As you made a hundred colors into one sunset,

A thousand cedars into one forest,

and countless stars into one galaxy …

make our two hearts as

one,

Father, forever …

that you may be praised, Father,

forever.

From Shaped by God (original title: On the Anvil)

Copyright (Tyndale House, 1985, 2002) Max Lucado

________________________________________

Alternative Paths- 30 Day Challenge

Alternative Paths by Jonathan Fields


When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name; the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The world buzzes about goals and visions. Focus. Create a vivid picture of exactly where you want to go. Dream big, then don’t let anything or anyone stop you. The problem, as Daniel Gilbert wrote in Stumbling Upon Happiness, is that we’re horrible at forecasting how we’ll really feel 10 or 20 years from now – once we’ve gotten what we dreamed of. Often, we get there only to say, “That’s not what I thought it would be,” and ask, “What now?” Ambition is good. Blind ambition is not. It blocks out not only distraction, but the many opportunities that might take you off course but that may also lead you in a new direction. Consistent daily action is only a virtue when bundled with a willingness to remain open to the unknown. In this exercise, look at your current quest and ask, “What alternative opportunities, interpretations and paths am I not seeing?” They’re always there, but you’ve got to choose to see them.

(Author: Jonathan Fields)

I've never been the type of person, to seek out the unknown. I do when I am told to or called to, but I often do not do that of my own choosing. I wonder what it would be like if I truly did explore my passions. Could it lead to my ultimate dream ending with a final destination of my passions being in line with God's passions? It often surprises me when I do something out of the blue. Jamaica, is a good example of this. It has surprised me both times that I have been to the most rural parts of Jamaica that I followed through with it despite my fears. But, it has also somehow surprised me that it is here where I know that my passions truly were in line with God's passions. My passions for traveling, meeting people, combating poverty, encouraging neighbors, and doing hard manual labor were all tied into this one trip.

For the future (5-20 years)my dream would be to be able to have accomplished these things:
- Get married; have a family- big or small
- Visit Sydney, Australia for longer than a week's vacation
- Learn from/intern at Hillsong Church
- Be a pastor of a church
- Get a doctorate in relational leadership

- Go to Princeton Seminary

- Be a part time missionary- that partners a foreign 3rd world church with an American church

- Visit a little girl named Wenddy in the Dominican Republic

If there are alternative paths that I am not seeing, my eyes will have to be opened. But, I look forward to what faith brings: Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)

New 30day Challenge

I started a few days late, but I think this is an awesome challenge. This challenge causes individuals to "look within" as Aristotle once said.

There will be an agreement in whatever variety of actions, so they be each honest and natural in their hour. – Ralph Waldo Emerson




What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?

5 years ago, I would have been a "tweenager." I would say to my 14 year old self that I love the passion and the fire that I have for Christ as I laid down my purposes, my plans, and my life. That passion radiated off of me onto other people. To the 24 year old, I would say, are you still living with that passion and fire for Christ, if so, what have you done to externalize that passion?

He always knew...from the beginning

As I was reading Galatians 3 today, I came across the words "The promises were spoken to Abraham and to his seed(v16). Then, I remembered from NT class that the word seed is very important here because later on it declares that "Scripture does not say 'and to seeds,' meaning many people, but 'and to your seed,' meaning one person who is Christ." The promises were spoken to Abraham and to his lineage that would lead to Christ! There is a law and a promise, but Scripture tells us it is not either/or, but rather "the law was added because of transgressions until the Seed to whom the promise referred had come" (v19).

This chapter found all the way in the NT is based on a pending promise all the way in Genesis. My prof once stated that he believed Genesis 12:1-3 is the "hinge of the Bible" because the New Covenant and promises fold out of this promise to Abraham: The descendants and the nations would be blessed. "All the peoples on earth will be blessed through you!" (Gen. 12:3) No wonder why! Christ is the seed. All people will be blessed for those that truly believe in Christ!

It is incredible to think that God planned this all along even in Genesis when we are just beginning to learn what happened from the beginning of humanity's time. Genesis 12 is right after Genesis 11, right? We all know that Genesis 11 is when the Tower of Babel incident occurred. They were trying to "fix things" on their own by "making a name for ourselves and not be scattered over the face of the whole earth" (Gen. 11:4). Babel was a human initiative, the wrong way. Abraham's promise was a divine initiative, the right way and a significant moment of God's initiation.

Who would have thought that by Genesis 12, God was already proclaiming, "No, no, I have a better plan because Christ is coming soon! Christ is the Seed, and He is a part of Abraham's lineage!" What Good News found all the way in the Old Testament.

God truly was knowing and destining as Romans 8 says, all the way from the beginning.

I Lift My Hands

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyYWWKJt-Hs


I Lift My Hands- Chris Tomlin

Be still, there is a healer
His love is deeper than the sea
His mercy, it is unfailing
His arms are a fortress for the weak

Let faith arise
Let faith arise

I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God, forever

Be still, there is a river
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/c/chris-tomlin-lyrics/i-lift-my-hands-lyrics.html ]
That flows from Calvary's tree
A fountain for the thirsty
Pure grace that washes over me

So let faith arise
Let faith arise
Open my eyes
Open my eyes

I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart, these things I remember
You are faithful, God
You are faithful, God, forever

Lenten Advice

From Source Book of Wit and Wisdom and written by Arthur Lichtenberg, a past bishop of the Episcopal church. Fast from criticism and feast on PRAISE. Fast from self-pity and feast on JOY. Fast from ill-temper and feast on PEACE. Fast from resentment and feast on CONTENTMENT. Fast from jealousy and feast on LOVE. Fast from pride and feast on HUMILITY. Fast from selfishness and feast on SERVICE. Fast from fear and feast on FAITH. .

My heart

I wish I had the heart right now that the Lord desires me to have; one that is healthy, spiritually driven, and cheery. But, sometimes, it feels tired, hurt, and dull. I know what I need to do to make my heart right, but that decision is one that will alter my lifestyle. The Lord has been speaking to me about being my first Love, no matter what. It is truly beautiful, but I wonder how deep it would soak in if I let it. Maybe if I wasn't so busy trying to be the perfect friend or the perfect student or the perfect Christ follower, then I could truly explore what the Lord is doing in my heart. I know He is at work in my heart, and I know He is good and ever so faithful, but if we were all to be honest, when was the last time we set aside our work schedule to hear the Lord tapping on our hearts- not when we have time in our schedule but when the Lord says, I am at work right now within you, come and listen.

It's not that I feel spiritually dry because the Lord is speaking profound fundamental things to me that will ground my life, but maybe it is true like my friend said, have I been too in love with doing things for Christ, that I have not taking the time to fall in love with Christ?

Love is patient, love is kind. He knocks on my heart far more than I answer because I'm too busy thinking I'm glorifying Him with my work rather than with my time.

The beauty of love is that it is exciting. It is refreshing. It was designed for us to enjoy, but my task oriented personality seems to put love on the side when I have time. Could it be that we get too caught up in praying for Jesus, or worshipping for Him that we lose sight of just living and relishing in His love day in and day out? Or could it be that it's not that we lose sight, but rather he calls us to balance our lives focused on Him first.

The beautiful thing that the Lord has been teaching me is that He is my first Love and no one can ever take that place. I used to think that I have never had a boyfriend because He was protecting me from the superficial relationships that are so common today. Though I think that is true, I now wonder if maybe the Lord says, I want to ground you first. I want to be your main priority because I Am the most important relationship you will ever have. God desires to be the wedding band underneath the marriage band, so that it is grounded in Christ before it is grounded with a spouse.

Oh there is so much joy i life, in the little things, in the smiles, in the laughter that I do not take time to reflect on. No wonder why I am stressed all of the time. I do not reflect or process what is going on in my head. Thus, it turns into a word scramble up there!

Though it is difficult I wonder what would happen if I surrendered not just the "important things" in life, but rather surrendered my time, which encompasses all of the important things. I wonder what would happen if I listened to the knocking on my heart more frequently? I wonder who I would be if I tapped into the constant joy and peace that is from the Source by surrendering my time instead of "prioritizing every moment".

I feel at peace already, and I can't wait to see what the Lord will do in my heart...

Lord, may I surrender my mind- through rest , reflection, and processing my days

May I surrender my soul- by responding to You not just when I have time

May I surrender my heart- by giving you the hurt of the past, the desires of the future, and the feelings of the present

May I surrender my strength- by knowing I can do nothing on my own, and I am completely dependent on You.

May you transform my heart to be more like Yours everyday.

No matter what...

No Matter What:

God is good all the time.

God is faithful all the time.

God is loving all the time.

God is caring all the time.

God is forgiving all the time.

God is a friend all the time.

God is a Father all the time.

God is a Shepherd all the time.

God does not change. He is who He is. And He is good.

Suffering

Suffering is a time when the world seems to stop, or maybe not the world, but our world for that matter. Suffering causes internal focuses which can then lead to internal prayers. Suffering can take our eyes off of God when he so desperately may be allowing this in order to refocus our attention back on Him. How easy it is to push aside the feelings and ignore them rather than reaching to the core of what Christ is sometimes trying to speak to us about.

I was reading Philippians today and came across Paul's words when he was going through the same thing. May we never lose faith. May we never lose hope, for that is what we are living for and hope does not disappoint us (Romans 5:5).

"Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel." (Philippians 1:12)

"Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and God's provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance." (v. 19)

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love God and who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)

Take heart to the direction God is leading you, even if he is leading you into suffering, for there is hope, that hope doesn't disappoint us. And His plan reigns far greater than what we know is possible or even imaginable.