Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
If there's anything that this process of dating and engagement has reminded me of, it's that the enemy is around prowling like a lion. He is looking for couples that will go with the norm, looking for couples that will not glorify God in all they do, let alone love God with all that they are so that each person in the relationship can truly experience the love of God. I recently preached a sermon on how we have to be filled by the love of God first and foremost, then, and only then, can we truly be filled with the love of God.
I've experienced nothing but the love of God in this relationship, more than I've ever known. I've learned how much Christ can truly love every part of me: flaws and all. I've learned how much Christ loves us individually, not just corporately, and I've learned what it means to give love and to receive love. That to me is an ideal marriage, one that I want to be a part of because it reflects the marriage between Christ and his bride.
And because all of that, just as a Christian that is progressing and growing in their faith, so too are couples under attack wherever the enemy can fit in. Mine happens to be a feeling of anxiety. Nothing specific, nothing that is a red flag, just simply a large decision in the future that is unknown to everyone but God.
I've talked with many wise people that have gone through this. I've prayed. I've asked for direction and confirmation from the Lord- all which were received- consistent, the same messages, and encouraging words that would build me up as a daughter in Christ. But today, I began thinking, not only would the enemy start attacking me in fear (because that is my greatest weakness- or my thorn in the flesh that can be used to glorify God the most) but I also began thinking- why would this happen now? What good does worry do? I can ignore the worry, but then that won't develop the character in me that God is forming me to become. Why is God allowing this? And then...it dawned on me...
If this relationship is to be different than the typical relationship defined by society...
If this relationship will surely glorify God and actually become an example for the Church....
If this relationship helps me grow in my relationship with God as well as grow as the person he is calling me to become...
If this relationship is everything that God has confirmed, that it is right and perfect for each of us-
Then, not only will God get the glory in our marriage as one flesh, as a couple that can withstand the wind because our house will be built on rock not sand, but God will also get the glory in the midst of the attack of the enemy currently. God will get the glory now, by me learning to surrender to God and trusting him whole heartedly in a new way with a new stage in life; and God will get the glory in the future, when people see a reflection of Christ's love through the marriage of Matthew and me.
God received the glory from the beginning...He will receive the glory in everything in between...and He will receive the glory forever. Thanks be to God. He is molding me in who I am to become, working within me, and working around me, and I get to marry the man that I am so blessed to call my best friend.
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